My life, advice needed :)

Hi! I am David from Spain.

I was always interested about minerals since I know my mind. I can remember back things from I was 1 years old. When I was young I didn't know what to do with the other kids around me, I was never interested about playing but other things like minerals, fossils. Especially those with deep red colors like garnet or ruby.

I had trouble sleeping always, sometimes I woke up with bruises. Nothing has helped, it has just stopped a few years back. My mom brought me amethysts but it didn`t have any effect on me at that time. I was always nervous and shaking. I couldn`t feel the vibration of the stones... I assume due to the extra amount of tension.

I was messing up electrical systems, activated alarms, couldn`t pay with my credit card when I was happy or sad. Radio frequencies are not my friend. When I am meditating or get emotional. The mobile network is just gone, the speakers in the hi-fi or in the computer are starting to go wrong...

One of my ex girlfriend has seen a "ghost" in my back when we had a webcam conversation... She has freaked out but I was lucky that time, she was brave... I am still experiencing weird stuff like that but a few months since the nervousness is gone, I am truly calm, I can feel almost every vibration around. I always had some other weird stuff around me also, like I freaked out girls with telling simple things what they are thinking about, UNINTENTIONALLY. I have never wanted to do this, before.

A few months before I said, ok, I am giving up, let`s take a control on these things. I met someone I really loved, everything seemed like perfect, but the same thing has happened as many times before. When I truly wanted something and I was very close to achieve it has gone far away... It does not matter what kind of thing we are talking about, love, career, or studies. Just the same. The bright side is I have tremendous willpower, a single step forward in life for me is like to climbing the Mt. Everest. –Any idea how to stop this?-

So, I wanted to stop this trend even in the cost of my life. I was digging in, let`s try isochronic tones. That was a sensation first time. I had flashes about what some people are saying a few seconds later, weird people were nodding in the street, had a sensation like the cold wind is coming to my limbs, my t-shirt was moving during meditation etc.. And sometimes I was looking at some really easy things, like small piece of paper and it has started to move around…

The intensity has stopped of these things, I did not know why. The key is: calm awareness. That is a state when your mind “feels” things like isochronic tones or the power in the crystals. When you get a new impulse it`s easier than later. It`s like a challenge for the mind. This can be stimulated. I started to buy some minerals and playing games to activate both of my hemispheres. If you are improving your peripheral vision that can be a great help.

What I have now: multi color tiger`s eye from Tibet which one has an epsilon mark (what is this?) and seems like turning to be blue, charoite, moonstone, amethyst, golden tiger`s eye, dumurtierite, magnesite, clear quartz, small red-pink garnets, and what is really overwhelming for now, a 45cts clean phenacite. When I am meditating I light up a candle and placing stones in my forehead, in both of my palms, and sometimes I put stones around in some geometric shape. It has help to challenge my mind. I am relaxing, but keep my mind “open”, like a back-think of the objects around so I feel the same pulsation in my head like in the first time. Now I feel tingling vibration even in my feet.
What else would be good to add?

What do you think about the white river nephrite pebble with an inner golden heart from Xinjiang? I just bought it, but I can`t find many info about.

I am an Aries, I like the most of the stones but not bloodstone…I don`t really know why. Should I try it also? I don`t know if I am in the right path, feel free to share your knowledge!

Thanks. David